31 August 2008

Kids Make You Weak and Dumb

After more than a few years of parenting, we have come to the conclusion that kids have indeed changed our lives in two unexpected ways:

Fathers made weak. I completely related to Michelle Obama talking about driving home from the hospital with a newborn, and driving 15MPH. The day that tiny life was put in my hands I changed from a typical teenager in a middle-aged body who liked action flicks with lots of shooting to a guy who got tears in his eyes when he saw a dog get hit by a car. Life really did become more precious to me. I had never been afraid of heights, but now my heart jumps thinking the kids might fall. I now drive slower and climb ladders more carefully. I worry about everything.

Mothers made dumb. My wife has a theory that kids make mothers dumb. Their constant interuptions and questions make long complicated thought impossible. Mothers who once were scholars become unable to remember why they walked into a room. All day, every day, for year after year, mothers rarely get time to sit and think. Time to write or even read. When the kids are little, nap time is the time to do laundry. If you have more kids, then nap time doesn't matter, because one of them is always awake, unless you stay up later than them and rise earlier than them, but that results in lack of sleep and even more tired brains.

7 comments:

Mark Miller said...

There's a word for this...

Galzheimer's

CityKin said...

Never heard of it. Thanks Mark.

Strangely, I wrote this post about a month ago and had posted it with a date at the end of the month, meaning to get back and refine it later. I FORGOT about it, and it accidentally auto-posted today. Which is kindof interesting considering that since the time I wrote this, we had another case of an infant being forgotten in a car.

I've also been having some thoughts in my head about Sarah Palin deciding to get pregnant when she was Governor, and 43 years old. Now tonight I am reading that she broke water in Texas and then got on an 8hr flight home. Too much weirdness about pregnancies, working mothers, etc...

Mark Miller said...

Sounds like a mild case of Guyzheimer's.

Here's another one by the same author. Opposite problem.

Ouch!

VisuaLingual said...

Thanks for that refreshing admission. I've noticed that sort of parenthood-induced ADD in professional situations. It's the parents who often "solve a problem" just enough to put out the fire and then move onto the next most pressing issue, and then can seem less likely to be patient and really assess a problem before attempting a solution. It can be frustrating. On the other hand, parents are often more compassionate in a professional setting.

Lewis said...

I think Bill Cosby does a good skit on this. I can't remember the album, maybe "Himself".

dave said...

So insensitivity and high intelligence are not necessary human genetic traits? Sounds plausible.

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